Knowing each other for quite some times and used to be a best friend I'd say , the memories can't be vanish just like that . Everything is still there , deep down inside you and your heart . Deep in your soul , there is still this something that you call hope . Hoping for you and that friend to be the old both of you . A best friend who used to share many things , in fact all things . A best friend who used to laugh and enjoy each bite of moment in life , who used to be each others eye and ear , who used to lent each other shoulder when one of them is about to fall .
But suddenly when thing turned out to be something you've never expected , all you can do is just stood still . Maybe go on with the flow , the people's flow without trying to fix things back to normal . Maybe at certain time , the circumstances made you to . You know you were supposed to believe that best friend more than you believe the out sider but all you can do is just stood still . Letting her see that there's no effort from your side to fix things . And at the end , you'll feel sorry and the regretness are full inside you .
It's not because you didn't have that love anymore , but it's because you yourself doesn't know what to do . How to fix things ? Where to start ? People might say you are such a loser , useless friend who doesn't have the right to be call FRIEND , who doesn't have the courage to stand besides that friend , back , giving support . And people might ask , aren't you feel ashame walking next to her ? Believe me , that matter had never exist in mind . There's no such ridiculous thing !
A friend will remain as a friend no matter what . But the HOW question keep mingle , mingle and mingle in your head . How am I going to starts everything from the first ? How am I going to convince people around ? What am I suppose to say ? Am I able to settle down things and fix everything ? How am I going to help you to get back you confidence to walk in front of others ?
For the time being , maybe you have to keep silence , let everything calm down . And at one point , you'll be crying because you miss the moment A LOT .
p/s : You know I love you more than they know dear friend . Take care .